Maybe you’ve heard something like this before of another Christian, or even yourself: “Oh, him? He’s a good dude, but boy — he’s a grouch.” Or maybe, “He loves the Lord, but he’s got a mean streak in him.” Or perhaps, “She’s nice when she’s in a good mood, but you don’t want to catch her on a bad day!” The kind of Christians I’m hearing described in these examples are curmudgeons — men and women who are characterized as grumpy, dismissive, or even cold. And for some reason, we Christians seem to have come to a conclusion that this is acceptable and fine, right alongside morbid obesity or tax fraud or “white” lies, waving it off with a chuckle or a roll of the eyes. We accommodate the presence of sharp tongues and mean spirits in the church, writing them off as harmless personality quirks rather than calling them what they actually are: manifestations of a lack of essential spiritual fruit.
So I’m writing to submit to you that Christian curmudgeons are walking contradictions: identifying as disciples — that is, apprentices, trainees, imitators — of Jesus while also casually or even jovially identifying as people who’ve embraced a certain kind of grumpy mien or attitude that Jesus came to redeem and transform.
Ok, I’ll read, but grumpily
Some will see this and say, “Ah, you don’t understand. I’ve been a bit of a grouch my whole life. It’s served me well, and it’s pretty much part of my personality.” I’d ask you to substitute the word “thief” or “liar” in there — not excusable, right? Right. That’s because such an attitude literally opposes the mission of the Gospel. The Apostle Paul said, “And such were some of you” when describing the works of the flesh to one of his churches1, not “some of you are still this way because you’ve always been this way.” No, Christ came to redeem us and change us into his image, to transform us from what we once were into who he is. And that includes the more socially and culturally acceptable sins, as well.
Christian, please hear me out: if Christ wasn’t a curmudgeon, you can’t be either. Full stop. It’s literally not an option for those who are going to name the name of Christ and be his disciple. As Christians, we’ve been given the ultimate template for the kind of person we should strive to be: Jesus Christ himself. And if Christ died and rose again in order to transform thieves into generous givers and adulterers into faithful covenant spouses, then he died and rose again in order to transform grumps into friendly, warm, conversant, kind, gentle people — just like he was.
It can’t be that bad, Britt
I submit to you that a grouchy mentality actually serves to lessen or even undo the influence of Christ in a church or even a community. Over and over again, we are called to be kind2, and when we speak the truth, to do it in love3 and gentleness and respect4, and the list goes on. Any time the church tolerates attitudes and lifestyles that are contrary to the person of Christ and his mission of radically transforming people into his image, its ability to properly direct people to Christ is diminished and harmed. On most other charges, you’d surely agree without reservation: the serial adulterer, the gossip, the constant contrarian — we’d never allow these ways of life to continue unhindered in the church, so then why do we do so with curmudgeons?
Answer: It is largely because we conflate abrasiveness with conviction or excuse coldness as a personality trait. However, neither of these associations pass muster. Abrasiveness isn’t conviction; it’s just arrogance repackaged as theological prowess or zeal. And coldness isn’t just a harmless quirk; it’s an undeniable symptom of a heart that has refused to let the warmth of the Holy Spirit penetrate its carnal shell and transform it from within.
If others find you cold, cynical, and generally unpleasant to be around, that’s not a mark of honor — it’s a mark of radical spiritual immaturity and theological incompleteness. Have you not read in the Scriptures? The Spirit bears the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control5 in believers, not grouchiness masked as personality. No, I think it’s clear — or it certainly should be — the Spirit of God isn’t in the business of making people grumpy or even leaving them that way. The Spirit gives life and joy. The Spirit makes you warm and kind. Hospitable. Sweet, even.
So if you’re not this way, it’s a Scripturally-proven sign that you aren’t keeping in step with the Spirit. In fact, the inverse is true; you’re exhibiting some clear works of the flesh6: strife, hatred, dissensions, and possibly more.
Ok, so you’re saying to not be a pious jerk. Got it
The idea of sanctification is to be ever-moving toward resembling Christ in every area of our lives. My advice (as someone who has an inner curmudgeon that I constantly have to surrender to the sanctifying and purifying work of the Spirit along with many other carnal leftovers): Read I Corinthians 13. And then read the Gospel of Matthew. Watch Jesus constantly love and show kindness to people who followed him — even one he knew would eventually betray him.
There is no grumpiness in Christ, and so there is to be no grumpiness in the Christian. Let’s stop giving a free pass to mean spirits. Let us instead repent of our curmudgeonly ways, put on the mind of Christ, and start acting like people who have actually been redeemed and have an infinite number of blessings to be happy about7.
This is a short essay, because it’s a really, really simple concept. However, we all know that just because something is simple to understand, it doesn’t make it easy to put into practice. I hope that you will consider choosing joy and warmth and kindness — not just for your inner circle of people with whom you go fishing or watch the game. With everyone, friends and enemies alike.
Just like Jesus did. And still does, for you.
As always, my articles are entirely and wholly written by me, never any LLM or so-called “AI.” My use of LLMs is reserved for research purposes only, with no exceptions. Please join me in committing to never putting your name on any creative work that someone — or something — else created for you, in whole or in part.
- 1 Corinthians 6:11 ↩︎
- Ephesians 4:32 ↩︎
- Ephesians 4:15 ↩︎
- I Peter 3:15 ↩︎
- Galatians 5:22-23 ↩︎
- Galatians 5:19-21 ↩︎
- I’m well aware I ended the sentence in a preposition. It’s something I’m doing more lately, as I’m trying to make my writing more accessible even if it means less technically correct in places. Yes, it kills me every time. ↩︎
